DODGED THE BULLET (for now).
Well, I was able to beg, borrow, steal enough cash to get the arrears below the magic $2000 mark and got the show cause (contempt) hearing dismissed (rescheduled) for another month. Once you are behind and in the system, They got ya! Now they enjoy having the axe hanging over my head each month or I'll be dragged in for contempt. Fines? Jail? Who knows.

Am I really in contempt of court because I don't make enough money to keep the court and my ex happy? Look at the economy today. Look at Michigan. Thousands at a time are losing their jobs. Tens and tens of thousands have newly found themselves without a job this year alone in Michigan with lots more to lose theirs soon, and no end in sight. Well the court ordered child support I'm ordered to pay has been a little more than I have been able to earn this year. Does that make me in contempt? I think not. I have sent just shy of ten thousand dollars cash to my ex this year without being employed from working my butt off at odd jobs. I think that is astounding, not contempt. Yet the threat of jail hovers over me each and every month. What a system.

Do you swear to tell the truth?
Well here goes nothing. In a week I'll finally be in court for a show cause hearing. They want to find me "In contempt of Court". The friend of the court canceled the last two hearings and rescheduled them because I was able to get my arrears below $2000, their magic number. These are very tough times in this country and even worse in SE Michigan. I'm still out of work (over a year) but have managed to pay almost $9,000 in child support to my ex for our children. They have holes in their shoes, she borrows cat food from the neighbors, a friend bought one of the kids a planner for school..etc. Where has the money I sent to take care of my children gone? Sorry, I digress. So.. the friend of the court is going to rake me over the coals, let me know that I'm a deadbeat, and find me in contempt of court because I have not paid all the money the court has ordered.

Am I in contempt? I don't think so. I'm doing everything I can to send her every dime I can. I do without (without trash service, heat, thermostat set at 58 unless children come over, food from the local food bank, etc.) so as to not waste any money. I have sent almost $9,000 from working my butt off at odd jobs.

How can I be in contempt if I am doing all I can (and then some) to obey the order?

Wait until they fine me for contempt. That will be MORE money NOT going to my children. The court system spends it about as well as my ex does.

I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck.

Get a Job ?

My ex harassed me on the phone about being unemployed and said that I could get a job if I wanted to. Don't forget this is south east Michigan. She said go to McDonald's and work. Lets do a little math and see how well that works out shall we?

Lets get a starting wage of $8.50/hr. At 40 hours a week that is $340 per week. Lets go skimpy on state/federal/and social security tax and only take 20% total. $340 now drops to $272. Lets also go conservative and say that she will only be awarded 50% for our 5 young children. The thought of income withholding is exciting isn't it? $272 per week for me now drops to $136 per week. Ooooh wait, I need to pay a babysitter for 40 hours a week for five children. Can I possibly find someone who would do it for only $5 per hour? Lets assume there is a blessed soul out there that will do that. $5 per hour at 40 hours is only $200 per week but that is $64 more dollars than I took home.

Sooo.. how should I spend this NEGATIVE $64 a week I'm earning. I'll need gas at $4.25 a gallon to drive to work, Shall I pay my modest rent so I can keep a roof over my head? I hear they have a meal discount program at work so that won't cost much. Don't forget the big one mister - Pay that child support on time! Don't worry about lights or heat in the home or feeding the children, just pay that support on time! Don't buy medicine, have trash removal, lights, heat, a phone, rent, car insurance, money for gas, food, etc. Those are all luxuries you can have after the child support is paid on time.

Eureka! I can ask to work double shifts and work 80 hours per week and double my income! Uhh, I mean losses. Seriously, if I lose $128 per week, the mom will get more and I'll never see or get to raise my children. Sign me up.

By the way, working those 80 hours per week still would not provide as much money as the system wants me to pay in child support so I would still be a bad guy in the eyes of my children's mom and the court system. Sigh.

I hope this doesn't kill me. When I die the mom will receive zero support and my children lose their dad. What do you think? Should I take the job or not?

Hear Ye, Hear Ye..DEADBEAT DADS>>>

Boy did I get some exciting mail today from my friendly friend of the court. My ex is dragging me into court for being a whopping $2000 dollars behind on my child support. The FOC doesn't care in the slightest that I have been unemployed for over a year (this is Michigan). I have worked my fingers to the bone doing odd jobs and paid faithfully, every month, all that I could for the last year but have steadily fallen behind a little at a time being unemployed. I asked for a temporary drop in payment amount until I could get work a while back and got laughed out of the friend of the court building. They also don't seem to care at all if my children's mom has gotten raises and is taking a lot of overtime at work to make even a larger disproportionate amount of money than I am at the current time. Mind you she has not lost any of her monthly "gifts" from the state (you hard working tax payers) like food, tuition, child care, health care, etc.

Speaking of health care, did you know that part of the child support formula includes health care even if the mom and children have free health care from the state? That's right, I pay her for health care every month even though she gets it for free already. But I digress.

Tucked in with this exciting letter I got today as well was a nice "hunters orange" note informing me that I wouldn't be able to obtain a hunting or fishing license and that the DNR was informed of what a bad guy I am. Now I can't take my kids hunting or fishing? Wow.

I can't wait for this fun day in court that I have to look forward to. They will treat me like crap, insult me, take my money, and try to get blood from a turnip. I wonder if they will threaten to put me in jail. I can earn a lot of money and take care of my children from there I'll bet. All you hard working tax payers would be happy to support my little vacation from society wouldn't you?

Check out this link, from the State of Michigan, as to how much power the FOC has in their efforts to enforce child support.. http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7-124-5453_5528_29251---,00.html . They automatically report to the credit agencies if I fall behind !!(??). Now my credit is going downhill too. Now since our insurance companies can raise rates based on credit my insurance rates can rise costing more money realizing even less available money to take care of my children. Is the entire system a downward spiral or what? The info on that link will shock and scare you. Nothing like big brother having too much power and screwing up more than ever. Take the money I am able to afford to provide for my children and absorb it into attorney fees, higher insurance premiums, more paperwork and court fees, etc. Send as much of my money as possible into the system and don't let it go towards helping support my children. Hmmm.

Another Powerful must read..

The list of people writing about the injustices to children post-divorce is growing. That is a good thing! The children have been abused for far too long by the institutions who stand to gain by the current laws and something must be done. Big changes need to be made to save our children, our families, and our country. Read this moving enrty here..

http://www.opednews.com/maxwrite/diarypage.php?did=7378

I know it is hard to change current laws, especially if the ones making the laws will lose revenue. Is it possible that our country can see the future, see the gains made with the needed changes? The money being spent in the courtrooms, in the "friend of the court" (notice it isn't friend of the family or friend of the children), spent in jails, welfare, etc would be more than made up if we were a society where children had TWO parents in their life. Think about how much less our government would spend on correctional facilities, public handouts, etc. if divorce wasn't so easy, if the children didn't automatically go to the mom, if the dads were not automatically made out to be the bad guy in a divorce, if more children had their dad as a bigger part of their lives.

Another Poll (shared parenting)

We can do better than 88%. Please hit the link below and put in a vote for the kids!

Here is the link to the Detroit News poll asking if parenting time should be 50/50 post-divorce.. http://info.detnews.com/redesign/forums/feedback/lettersindex.cfm?topic=Parenting .

WOW WOW WOW..
Here it is again..

How many ways do we have to see it, hear it before something gets done about it?

The courts and the FOC (friend of the court) get paid more money from the federal government when they assign and enforce higher child support.

There are a ton of other equally astonishing and alarming links included on this page.
PLEASE...
Check it out here.... http://www.scribd.com/doc/630611/A-Quick-Summary-of-Title-IVD-Funding-and-Incentives

Lots of good reading.
Thanks for the great site!!!

Imputed income .. The amount a person is able to earn, even if s/he currently is not earning at that level. Here it is from dictionary.com.. im·put·ed
/ɪmˈpyutɪd/ –adjective
estimated to have a certain cash value, although no money has been received or credited.

Wow, bummer for me. I have been unemployed for almost a year. Things are mighty tough here in Michigan as you might have heard. When a family (mom and dad that are married and their kids) fall on hard times and income is low they adjust and learn how to get by. Work hard at odd jobs, eat less fancy foods, accept some charity from friends, church, etc. It is amazing how much less income you can actually get by on when you really have to. I know, I've been there, am there.

NOT SO IF YOU ARE DIVORCED!!!
The state and county does not care in the slightest about the current economic conditions or lack of jobs available. The dad will pay as much as the state/county sees fit no matter what his income is or he faces JAIL!

What a system. I petitioned my local friend of the court to temporarily reduce my child support because I do not have a job and can not afford to pay the currently enforced amount of child support. They almost laughed at me. Needless to say they gave me no relief and even said that I was lucky they were not increasing my support obligation. What happened to living a little leaner during tough times. My children's mom gets all the help available from the state, all her income, and tax-free cash from me in the form of child support. I, in the meantime, live in poverty.

No wonder far more divorces are initiated by women than men. They "think" there is so much to gain by it. Sadly the women, post divorce, find out that their quality of life is lower than ever. Meanwhile, interestingly, the mans quality of life is almost always higher. Don't believe me? Look up the stats.

What does all this mean? Maybe if women were not offered such a succulent carrot on a stick that propels them into divorce, maybe if the local government and all the attorneys didn't profit so much from divorces a few more marriages would endure. Maybe more children would get to have a full time mom and dad in their lives. Maybe, like we have seen proven so many times, there would be less fatherless children as a drag on society. Maybe our great country would turn out more high achieving adults to compete with the rest of the world. Maybe vows to God would be honored. Maybe..(you get the point).

Here is the bar that dads have an extremely tough time reaching... Shared economic responsibility (SER) The circumstance in which a noncustodial parent has a child with him/her frequently enough (at least 128 overnights annually) to be considered directly contributing to the child's care.

As long as the dad gets less than 128 overnights then he just visits his children. The mom technically, supposedly, has all of the economic responsibility. This is what the moms want because it will maximise the child support they can collect from the children's father.

Forget about any financial help for the dad because he has the children less than half of the time. I'll see my children well over 150 days over the next year. Every other weekend and one full half of summer vacation, Christmas break, and spring break they will be with me over night (24 hours a day). That is a lot of meals, entertainment, presents, etc. Does not matter. The mom gets the same amount of child support (the Max!) as if she was taking care of them 365 days a year 24/7. She gets the daycare support from the state, all the food stamp money for the children, and maxed out support from the dad. I have asked my children's mother if she would be willing to share any food, since she only has the children half of the time, over the summer vacation. Not a single crumb was offered. I asked the state for help and was told it (the food money) was only available to the mom because the children lived with her over half of the year. No splits, no help for the summer when they are with the dad half of the time. Hmm. I then sent a couple of emails to congressman Mike Rogers asking him if there was any help available but got no response.

Detroit News article raises awareness for children getting equal time with both parents. See it here.. http://detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage .

The drawing at the right is from Kara Bishop's website. She works with children of divorce. Her website can be found at the hyperlink listed below. Tough stuff. Sad stuff. Divorce is too easy. http://www.postcardsfromsplitsville.com/index.html

WHAAAAATT??

Rita Smith, Executive Director, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said the following in a statement she issued on January 9th...

"...The questioner's facts were not accurate, and exhibited a widely held belief that men are denied custody without due process and for no real reasons. My experience while working in this field for over 25 years is that just the opposite is true. Mothers are far more likely to lose custody when it is contested..."

WHAT?
GIVE ME A BREAK

Does this give you any indication how "anti men" the NCADV (didn't want to spell it out again and upset my computer) is? WOW. Is it any wonder they so fiercely defend the horrible Violence against Women act? The rest of her piece is just as bad. If you have a strong stomach and want to read the rest it can be found here.. http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/01-09-2008/0004733977&EDATE=

I don't know about you but I found it appalling.

LAW GETS IGNORED

"Under current law, judges decide custody cases based on the 12 factors delineated in Michigan’s Best Interest of the Child Test."

From my recent experience in a Michigan divorce the Judge does not decide. The friend of the Court is who decides this. When my ex wanted sole custody and I wanted 50/50 custody and parenting time we had to fill out a long questioner answering questions about the 12 factors that are to determine custody. Then the FOC interviewed the family and told us how it was going to be. The Judge would only rule on the custody decision that the Friend of the Court made if the divorce went to trial. Very few divorces (less than 5%) actually go to trial so the Judge never needs to rule on the decision that the FOC made. Even if the divorce does go to trial, the Judge usually simply accepts and calls into law the recommendation from the friend of the court.

The Friend of the Court decides the fate of the children and the parenting time for the parents!

SO.. why make the point that I have?

Remember that the FOC (at least in Michigan) is very crooked. They intend to maximize the parenting time for the mother regardless of what is best for the children. They get paid more federal dollars if they assign more child support. They will max out the parenting time for the mom so she can collect the max support thus generating the max money coming to the FOC from the Government. It is really that simple. It is really that broken. It is really that bed.

Quite a system we have here huh?
Broken!

Do You think this is what is best for our children?
I'm just one guy who lost the bulk of his time with his young children to a crroked system here in Michigan. Dig around my blog for a ton more detail from credible sources including a former FOC Officer Carol Rhodes and see what others have to say. Go to the 2007 entries and find the one about House Bill HB4564 and bug Brenda Clack to quit hiding this bill under her desk and lets get it into action. All the future children if Michigan divorces need your help.
Please!
Thank you!

More kids losing their dads!
More dads losing their kids!

When are people going to stand up and get angry?

Do something, demand that something gets changed.
Here is another dad who lost his children the hard way like I did. We find out after it is too late that the war was over before it began. All our efforts, valid reasons, examples, etc..for naught. The system was going to give the children to the mom anyway! Remember? The friend of the court has to max out the child support to the mom so they receive the maximum cash payment from the federal government for themselves.
With this current setup why would they ever give the kids fair time with their dads?
Lose money for the courts?
No way.
Screw the kids. Screw the dads.
Feed the Court$!

Larry Holland lost his kids in Michigan because of just such incentives. A little from Larry Holland's blog ...

" He was involved in a family court case in the State of Michigan. After not understanding why the system was so bent on separating him from his children, Lary began studying the legislation and federal programs that support the family court systems across America. He had lost before the case had begun, because the States receive steep financial rewards for the creation of "court ordered absent parents." He vowed to educate the public and begin removing government intrusion one subject matter area at a time."

See Larry's blog here http://www.laryholland.com/ .
Larry is an associate member of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC).

Spend a little time at their informative website http://acfc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=homepage

Thanks for stopping by.
I hope you will spend a little time and read my other entries.
This is really very important stuff and lots of Children are suffering under the current laws.